Gradly

• The bandage was wound around the wound.
• The farm was used to produce produce.
• The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
• We must polish the Polish furniture.
• He could lead if he would get the lead out.
• The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
• A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
• When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
• I did not object to the object.
• The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
• There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
• They were too close to the door to close it.
• The buck does funny things when the does are present.
• A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
• To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
• The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
• After a number of injections my jaw got number.
• Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
• I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
• How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
• Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

+ Refer to PART I post here.

• There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple …
  
• Is cheese the plural of choose?
• If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
• If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
• In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
  Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?
  Have noses that run and feet that smell?
  Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
• Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
• We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
• And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham?
• If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?
  One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese?
  One index, two indices?
• How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
• When a house burns up, it burns down.
• You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
• When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
• English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France.
• How can ‘slim chance and a fat chance‘ be the same, while ‘ wise man and a wise guy‘ are opposites!

• In the beginning was the Plan.
• And then came the Assumptions.
• And the Assumptions were without Form.
• And the Plan was without Substance.
• And Darkness was upon the faces of the Workers.
• And they spoke among themselves saying, “It is a crock of shit and it stinks.“
• And the workers went unto their Supervisors and said, “It is a pail of dung and we cannot live with the smell.“
• And the supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, “It is a container of organic waste and it is very strong such that none may abide by it.“
• And the managers went unto their Directors, saying, “It is a vessel of fertilizer and none may abide by it.“
• And the directors went unto their Executive directors, saying, “It contains that which aids plant growth and it is very powerful.“
• And the executive directors went unto the Vice Presidents, saying, “It promotes growth and is very powerful.“
• And the vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, “This new plan will actively promote growth and vigor of the company with very powerful effects.“
• And the president looked upon the plan and saw that it was good.
• And the plan became Policy.
• And this is how shit happens.

+ Related Posts:

• Close to complete Ideology and Religion Shit List