Gradly

An elderly gentleman of 85 feared his wife was getting hard of hearing. So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and meanwhile there’s a simple informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the state of her problem.

“Here’s what you do,” said the doctor, “start out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he’s in the living room. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”

Then in a normal tone he asks, “Honey, what’s for supper?” No response.

So the husband moved to the other end of the room, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again he gets no response.

So he walks up to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for supper?”

“Damn it Earl, for the fifth time, CHICKEN!“.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of Pepsi they lay down in their tent for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake.

• “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
• Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
• “What does that tell you?” Holmes questioned.
• Watson pondered for a minute then he said:
• “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
• Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
• Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
• Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
• Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
• What does it tell you?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, and then spoke. “Watson, you idiot !!!!. It tells that someone has stolen our tent.“

A jobless man applied for the position of ‘office boy‘ at Microsoft.

The HR manager interviewed him, then a test: clean the floor. “You are hired” he said, “give me your e-mail address, and I’ll send you the application to fill, as well as when you will start”. The man replied “I don’t have a computer, neither an email”.

“I’m sorry”, said the HR manager, “if you don’t have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn’t exist, cannot have the job”. The man left with no hope at all. He didn’t know what to do, with only 10 US$ in his pocket.

He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10 KG tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation 3 times, and returned home with 60 US$. The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubles or triples every day. Shortly later, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the U. S. He started to plan his family’s future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and choose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied: “I don’t have an email”. The broker replied curiously, “you don’t have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Do you imagine what you could have been if you had an email ?!” The man thought for a while, and replied: “an office boy at Microsoft!“.

The moral of this story:

• M1– Internet is not the solution to your life.
• M2– If you don’t have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
• M3– If you received this message by email, you are closer to be an office boy, rather than a MILLIONAIRE.

P.S. I am going to sell Tomatoes.

On walking into the factory, the MD noticed a young guy leaning Against the wall, doing nothing. He approached the young man and calmly said to him, How much do you earn?”

The young man was quite amazed that he was asked such a personal question, he replied, none the less, “I earn $ 2 000.00 a month, Sir. Why?”

Without answering, the MD took out his wallet and removed $ 6000.00 cash and gave it to the young man and said, “Around here I pay people for working, not for standing around looking pretty! Here is 3 months’ salary, now GET OUT and don’t come back”.

The young man turned around and was quickly out of sight.

Noticing a Few onlookers, the MD said in a very upset manner, “And that applies for everybody in this company”.

He approached one of the onlookers and asked him, “Who ‘s the young man that I just fired ?”

To which an amazing reply came of, “He was the pizza delivery man, Sir!”