• Cows & the New Economy

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Jokes No Responses

    photocms.jpgINFOSYSism
    You have a 1000 poor cows. You put them on a nice campus, & send them one at a time to the US for milking.

    WIPROism
    GE has a cow. You take 49% of the milk.

    SATYAMism
    You have a cow. You have its milk. But don’t know what to do with it!

    IBMism
    You have old stubborn cows. You sell them as pet dogs to innocent small businessmen.

    SUNism
    You have a bull. It doesn’t give milk. You hate Microsoft.

    SAPism
    You don’t have a cow You sell milking solutions for cows implemented by milking consultants.

    APPLEism
    You have a cow. You sell iMilk.

    SONYism
    You have a cow. You spend $50 mn to develop the world’s thinnest milk.

    CITIBANKism
    Welcome to Citibank. If you have a cow, press 1. If you have a bull, press 2 … stay on line if you’d like our customer care to milk it for you.

    + source 

  • Difference in Conversation between Women & Men

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Jokes No Responses

    • TWO WOMEN TALKING:

    Woman #1: Oh! You got a haircut! That’s so cute!
    Woman #2: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking?
    Woman #1: No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I’m pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
    Woman #2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts – that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
    Woman #1: Oh – that’s funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.
    Woman #2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier

    • NOW TWO MEN TALKING:

    Man #1: Haircut?
    Man #2: Yeah

  • Ain’t ENGLISH a Funny Language ?

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Jokes, Parody 2 Responses

    • There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple …
    • Is cheese the plural of choose?
    • If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?
    • If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
    • In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
      Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?
      Have noses that run and feet that smell?
      Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
    • Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
    • We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
    • And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham?
    • If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth?
      One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese?
      One index, two indices?
    • How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?
    • When a house burns up, it burns down.
    • You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
    • When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
    • English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France.
    • How can ‘slim chance and a fat chance‘ be the same, while ‘ wise man and a wise guy‘ are opposites!

  • THE HOUSE RULES

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Jokes 3 Responses

    #1. The female always makes the rules.
    #2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
    #3. No male can possibly know all the rules. Nearly all females are born with this knowledge.
    #4. If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she may immediately change some or all of the rules.
    #5. The female is never wrong.
    #6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
    #7. If rule #6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
    #8. The female may change her mind at any given point in time.
    #9. The male must never change his mind without the expressed written consent of the female.
    #10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
    #11. On birthdays, the female doesn’t get older, she just keeps getting better and better and better.