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Before the marriage: (Top to Bottom)
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After the marriage: (Bottom to Top)
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Before and After Marriage
// Gradly // blog, Funny, Jokes Tags: blog 6 Responses
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Annoying Things To Do On An Elevator
// Gradly // blog, Funny, Jokes Tags: blog 2 Responses
01) SAY –DING at each floor.
02) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
03) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
04) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
05) MEOW occasionally.
06) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” – and back away slowly
07) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
08) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.
09) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”
14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.
22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.
23) As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting ”Down! I said down, dmmit” -
Story Corner: An Office Boy at Microsoft!
// Gradly // blog, Funny, Jokes, Stories Tags: blog 21 Responses
A jobless man applied for the position of ‘office boy‘ at Microsoft.
The HR manager interviewed him, then a test: clean the floor. “You are hired” he said, “give me your e-mail address, and I’ll send you the application to fill, as well as when you will start”. The man replied “I don’t have a computer, neither an email”.
“I’m sorry”, said the HR manager, “if you don’t have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn’t exist, cannot have the job”. The man left with no hope at all. He didn’t know what to do, with only 10 US$ in his pocket.
He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10 KG tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation 3 times, and returned home with 60 US$. The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubles or triples every day. Shortly later, he bought a cart, then a truck, then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.
5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the U. S. He started to plan his family’s future, and decided to have a life insurance.
He called an insurance broker, and choose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded, the broker asked him his email. The man replied: “I don’t have an email”. The broker replied curiously, “you don’t have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Do you imagine what you could have been if you had an email ?!” The man thought for a while, and replied: “an office boy at Microsoft!“.
The moral of this story:
- M1– Internet is not the solution to your life.
- M2– If you don’t have internet, and work hard, you can be a millionaire.
- M3– If you received this message by email, you are closer to be an office boy, rather than a MILLIONAIRE.
P.S. I am going to sell Tomatoes.
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Rules That A Woman Should Know
// Gradly // blog, Funny, Jokes Tags: blog 6 Responses
We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
- Crying is blackmail.
- Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
- Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
+ Subtle hints do not work!
+ Strong hints do not work!
+ Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it! - ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
- A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
- Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
- If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
- If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
- You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done
Not both. - If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
- Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
- Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
- ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is. - If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
- If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
- If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
- When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really.
- You have enough clothes.
- You have too many shoes.
- I am in shape. Round is a shape.
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