• Story Corner: A Little Supper Joke

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Jokes, Stories 1 Response

    An elderly gentleman of 85 feared his wife was getting hard of hearing. So one day he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor made an appointment for a hearing test in two weeks, and meanwhile there’s a simple informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the state of her problem.

    “Here’s what you do,” said the doctor, “start out about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.”

    That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he’s in the living room. He says to himself, “I’m about 40 feet away, let’s see what happens.”

    Then in a normal tone he asks, “Honey, what’s for supper?” No response.

    So the husband moved to the other end of the room, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Still no response.

    Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again he gets no response.

    So he walks up to the kitchen door, only 10 feet away. “Honey, what’s for supper?” Again there is no response.

    So he walks right up behind her. “Honey, what’s for supper?”

    “Damn it Earl, for the fifth time, CHICKEN!“.

  • In the beginning was The Plan: a 21st Century Fable

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Jokes, Parody 2 Responses

    • In the beginning was the Plan.
    • And then came the Assumptions.
    • And the Assumptions were without Form.
    • And the Plan was without Substance.
    • And Darkness was upon the faces of the Workers.
    • And they spoke among themselves saying, “It is a crock of shit and it stinks.“
    • And the workers went unto their Supervisors and said, “It is a pail of dung and we cannot live with the smell.“
    • And the supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, “It is a container of organic waste and it is very strong such that none may abide by it.“
    • And the managers went unto their Directors, saying, “It is a vessel of fertilizer and none may abide by it.“
    • And the directors went unto their Executive directors, saying, “It contains that which aids plant growth and it is very powerful.“
    • And the executive directors went unto the Vice Presidents, saying, “It promotes growth and is very powerful.“
    • And the vice Presidents went to the President, saying unto him, “This new plan will actively promote growth and vigor of the company with very powerful effects.“
    • And the president looked upon the plan and saw that it was good.
    • And the plan became Policy.
    • And this is how shit happens.

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  • The Higher, The Smaller …

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Jokes 3 Responses

    After a two year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on America’s recreational preferences:

    1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: Basketball.
    2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: Bowling.
    3. The sport of choice for blue-collar line workers is: Football.
    4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: Baseball.
    5. The sport of choice for middle management is: Tennis.
    6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: Golf.

    Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

  • Story Corner: Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Jokes, Stories 5 Responses

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of Pepsi they lay down in their tent for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake.

    • “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
    • Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
    • “What does that tell you?” Holmes questioned.
    • Watson pondered for a minute then he said:
    • “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
    • Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
    • Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
    • Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
    • Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
    • What does it tell you?”

    Holmes was silent for a minute, and then spoke. “Watson, you idiot !!!!. It tells that someone has stolen our tent.“