Gradly

Murphy’s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

Miller’s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you’ll want to be doing something else.

Weiner’s Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

Isaac’s Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale.

The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is always hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

Lampner’s Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

• If your father is a poor man,
  It is your fate but,
  If your father-in-law is a poor man,
  it’s your stupidity.
• I was born intelligent – Education ruined me.
• Practice makes perfect…
  But nobody’s perfect…
  So why practice?
• If it’s true that we are here to help others,
  Then what exactly are the others here for?
• Since light travels faster than sound,
  People appear bright until you hear them speak.
• How come “abbreviated” is such a long word?
  Money is not everything.
  There’s Mastercard & Visa.
• One should love animals.
  They are so tasty.
• Behind every successful man, there is a woman
  And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
• Every man should marry.
  After all, happiness is not the only thing in Life.
• The wise never marry.
  And when they marry they become otherwise.
• Success is a relative term.
  It brings so many relatives.
• Never put off the work till tomorrow
  What you can put off today.
• “Your future depends on your dreams” So go to sleep
• There should be a better way to start a day Than waking up every morning
• “Hard work never killed anybody”
  But why take the risk
• “Work fascinates me”
  I can look at it for hours
• God made relatives;
  Thank God we can choose our friends.
• The more you learn, the more you know,
  The more you know, the more you forget
  The more you forget, the less you know
  So.. Why learn.
• A bus station is where a bus stops.
  A train station is where a train stops.
  On my desk, I have a work station…
  What more can I say !!

• If a barber makes a mistake, It’s a new style
• If a driver makes a mistake, It is a new path
• If a engineer makes a mistake, It is a new venture
• If parents makes a mistake, It is a new generation
• If a politician makes a mistake, It is a new law
• If a scientist makes a mistake, It is a new invention
• If a tailor makes a mistake, It is a new fashion
• If a teacher makes a mistake, It is a new theory
• If a boss makes a mistake, It is a new idea
• If an employee makes a mistake, It is a Mistake Only

1.) Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

2.) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

3.) On-site Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4.) Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.

5.) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6.) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don’t need a man or woman; they’ll produce a child with zero resources.

7.) Documentation Team thinks they don’t care whether the child is delivered, they’ll just document 9 months.

8.) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.

9.) Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the Right baby