• An Amazing Thought

    // Gradly // blog, Funny 4 Responses

    This poem was nominated poem of 2005 for the best poem, written by an African kid

    An Amazing Thought

    • When I born, I Black,
    • When I grow up, I Black,
    • When I go in Sun, I Black,
    • When I cold, I black,
    • When I scared, I Black,
    • When I sick, I Black,
    • And when I die, I still black…
    • And you White fellow,
    • When you born, you pink,
    • When you grow up, you White,
    • When you go in Sun, you Red,
    • When you cold, you blue,
    • When you scared, you yellow,
    • When you sick, you Green,
    • And when you die, you Gray…
    • And you call me colored !!?”

  • The Higher, The Smaller …

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Jokes 3 Responses

    After a two year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on America’s recreational preferences:

    1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is: Basketball.
    2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is: Bowling.
    3. The sport of choice for blue-collar line workers is: Football.
    4. The sport of choice for supervisors is: Baseball.
    5. The sport of choice for middle management is: Tennis.
    6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is: Golf.

    Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

  • The Truths I’ve learned from the Movies

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Movies 4 Responses

    reel-clapper.jpg1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people – whether they are employed or not.

    2. One of a pair of identical twins is always born evil.

    3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don’t worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

    4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

    5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

    6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

    7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.

    8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

    9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, and then depart without witnessing the cruel and diabolical demise which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.

    10. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a night club at least once.

    11. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

    12. It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

    13. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving.

    14. In war it is impossible to die unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

    15. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do. (It used to be an English accent for the German).

    16. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

    17. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

    18. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

    19. Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter … Password Now.

    20. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

    21. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.

    22. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

    23. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

    24. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

    25. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.

  • Story Corner: Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Jokes, Stories 5 Responses

    Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of Pepsi they lay down in their tent for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend awake.

    • “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
    • Watson replied, “I see millions and millions of stars.”
    • “What does that tell you?” Holmes questioned.
    • Watson pondered for a minute then he said:
    • “Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
    • Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
    • Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.
    • Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
    • Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
    • What does it tell you?”

    Holmes was silent for a minute, and then spoke. “Watson, you idiot !!!!. It tells that someone has stolen our tent.“