• Bill Gates – Car Operating System

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Humor 2 Responses

    Bill’s company made software to run a car.

    Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.

    Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.

    A pop-up window appeared asking, “Are you sure you really want to stop?”

    Before Bill could enter “Yes”, there was a crash and the car caught fire.

    In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.

    He started shouting “F1! F1!” but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.

    Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.

    A message appeared on the screen, “An illegal function is performed.

    All the window-panes of the car will be closed.” Poor Bill died.

    Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, “You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell.”

    Bill pleaded, “I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please.”

    Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.

  • Are you OVER 50 ?!!

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Humor 5 Responses

    • Subject: PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

    1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

    2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

    3. No one expects you to run–anywhere.

    4. People call at 9pm and ask, ” Did I wake you ????”

    5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

    6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

    7. Things you buy now won’t wear out.

    8. You can eat dinner at 4pm.

    9. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

    10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

    11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

    12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

    13. You sing along with elevator music.

    14. Your eyes won’t get much worse.

    15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

    16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

    17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

    18. You can’t remember where you read this list.

    • And you notice these are all in bold for your convenience.
    • Send this to every one you can remember

  • The Most Important Discoveries

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Humor 4 Responses

    Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
    Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.

    Man discovered colors, invented painting.
    Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.

    Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
    Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.

    Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
    Woman discovered food, invented diet.

    Man discovered friendship, invented love.
    Woman discovered love, invented marriage.

    Man discovered trade, invented money.
    Woman discovered money, man has never recovered.

  • Story Corner: Interesting Management Stories

    // Gradly // blog, Funny, Humor, Stories No Responses

    Story # 1

    It’s a fine sunny day in the forest and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.

    Fox: “Do you know the time, because my watch is broken”
    Lion: “Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you”

    Fox: “Hmm… But it’s a very complicated mechanism, and your big claws will only destroy it even more.”
    Lion: “Oh no, give it to me, and it will be fixed”

    Fox: “That’s ridiculous! Any fool knows that lazy lions with great claws cannot fix complicated watches”
    Lion: “Sure they do, give it to me and it will be fixed”

    The lion disappears into his cave, and after a while he comes back with the watch which is running perfectly. The fox is impressed, and the lion continues to lie lazily in the sun, looking very pleased with himself.

    Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the lazy lion in the sun.

    Wolf: “Can I come and watch TV tonight with you, because mine is broken”
    Lion: “Oh, I can easily fix your TV for you”

    Wolf: “You don’t expect me to believe such rubbish, do you? There is no way that a lazy lion with big claws can fix a complicated TV.
    Lion: “No problem. Do you want to try it?”

    The lion goes into his cave, and after a while comes back with a perfectly fixed TV. The wolf goes away happily and amazed.

    Scene:
    Inside the lion’s cave. In one corner are half a dozen small and intelligent looking rabbits who are busily doing very complicated work with very detailed instruments. In the other corner lies a huge lion looking very pleased with himself.

    The moral of this story:

    • IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY A MANAGER IS FAMOUS; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

    Management Lesson in the context of the working world:

    • IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY SOMEONE UNDESERVED IS PROMOTED; LOOK AT THE WORK OF HIS SUBORDINATES.

    Story # 2

    It’s a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk.

    Fox: “What are you working on?”
    Rabbit: “My thesis.”

    Fox: “Hmm… What is it about?”
    Rabbit: “Oh, I’m writing about how rabbits eat foxes.”

    Fox: “That’s ridiculous ! Any fool knows that rabbits don’t eat foxes!
    Rabbit: “Come with me and I’ll show you!”

    They both disappear into the rabbit’s burrow. After few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter and resumes typing.
    Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit.

    Wolf: “What’s that you are writing?”
    Rabbit: “I’m doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves.”

    Wolf: “you don’t expect to get such rubbish published, do you?”
    Rabbit: “No problem. Do you want to see why?”

    The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing. Finally a bear comes along and asks, “What are you doing?

    Rabbit: “I’m doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears.”
    Bear: “Well that’s absurd ! ”

    Rabbit: “Come into my home and I’ll show you”

    Scene :
    As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion.

    The moral of this story:

    • IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHOM YOU HAVE AS A SUPERVISOR.

    Management Lesson in the context of the working world:

    • IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU OR NOT