Gradly

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS:
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC:
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH:
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn’t need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS:
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY:
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.”
They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.

Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are…

Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares ?????

Q: What’s the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO?
A: I don’t know, I’ve never seen either.

Q: What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?
A: I) no mind II) no business

Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.

Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he’s God’s gift?
A: Exchange him!!

Q: Why do men like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

• Pass this on to some women who need a laugh .. and to men who can handle it !