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Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist.
If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
“Congratulations! You’re a free man. Just tell me why didn’t you jump?” asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, “Well Doc, I can’t swim!”
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An obese blonde with unhealthy overweight, went to Doctor.
Her doctor put her on a diet with strict advise. “I want you to eat regularly for two days and then skip a day. I want you to repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.”
When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. “Wow, this is amazing!” the doctor said, “So you did follow my instructions?”
The blonde nodded yes. “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.”
“From hunger, you mean?” The Doctor asked.
“No, from skipping”, The Blonde explained.