Crazy Definitions II

// Gradly // blog, Funny

  • Atom Bomb – An invention made to end all inventions.
  • Boss – Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
  • Cigarette – A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
  • Classic – A book which people praises a lot, but do not read.
  • College – A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
  • Committee – Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
  • Compromise – The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
  • Conference – The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
  • Conference Room – A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
  • Criminal – A guy no different from the rest … except that he has got caught.
  • Dictionary – A place where divorce comes before marriage.
  • Diplomat – A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually looks forward to the trip.
  • Divorce – Future tense of marriage.
  • Doctor – A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
  • Ecstasy – A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
  • Etc. – A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
  • Experience – The name men give to their mistakes.
  • Father – A banker provided by nature.
  • Lecture – An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.
  • Love affairs – Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
  • Marriage – It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.
  • Miser – A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
  • Office – A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
  • Optimist – A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”
  • Opportunist – A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
  • Pessimist – A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
  • Philosopher – A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
  • Politician – One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
  • Smile – A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
  • Tears – The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine waterpower.
  • Yawn – The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.